This post discusses responses to the idea of how to get others into fitness, placing a particular focus on those who are otherwise uninterested. We can help others get into fitness if we share activities, make fitness fun, and avoid bothering people about it.

Fitness is Important

This shouldn’t come as much of a surprise.

From getting groceries to taking a flight of stairs, almost every aspect of day-to-day life can be improved with regular effort to understand how our bodies work.

We do not need to be power lifters, but we are greatly advantaged by taking time to develop our basic movements and assess our current capabilities so that we can improve our bodies. Smart fitness helps us improve our body understanding and do things better (what things, you might ask? Anything that involves moving!).

At the same time, we all have acquaintances, friends, and family members who do not care about fitness (and maybe you aren’t passionate either, who am I to judge?). For those of us who are into fitness (or one day aspire to be), we recognize how fitness and understanding movement can help us build strength, health and well-being.

It’s hard to see people in need of assistance and not want to offer a hand. However, if we aren’t careful, unsolicited help tends to yield animosity, build negative associations with fitness training, and push people away from physical well-being.

We can get people into fitness by making it more accessible for them. Doing exercises together, making fitness fun, and providing positive feedback without being annoying are all great ways to make fitness more accessible and help people find motivation to exercise. We are most successful getting others into exercise when we meet them where they are and help them see why it’s important and how they can build.

This post is an attempt to consider techniques to help others become more fit, especially when they don’t want to exercise (if you are struggling more generally with things you don’t want to do, click HERE to discuss!).

Community Insight on Getting Others into Fitness

To begin my review, I went to the Internet’s magical resource for discussion and strong opinions: Reddit.

Reddit, which has taken on the slogan “The heart of the internet” is a website that allows people across the world to discuss just about anything. I have always been fascinated by Reddit’s ability to simultaneously help the inexperienced communicate with experts in any field while also developing a community that holds posting parties to the utmost standards when presenting information.

If you come with genuine intent to learn and better yourself, Reddit is the place to be. However, if you are pushing propaganda or you go talk some nonsense on Reddit, you’ll find yourself in a world of hurt (via snarky messages). Many a time I’ve thought I knew what I was talking about until someone (graciously) told me I was a fool (and was right about it).

Reddit was the perfect first stop for me to get a general idea of what people thought about helping others become more fit. While I have my own experiences and ideas for helping others, my world view is limited to what I have learned myself, and talking to others can only help me improve what I have to offer.

General Themes: Make it Fun or Leave Them Alone

As was expected, I received some very strong opinions (strongest of which may have been my own, sorry about that) upon asking how people help others exercise who aren’t into fitness.

Two common themes arose: either we find something fun and engaging that the person can do (and possibly do it with them) or we leave them to figure it out on their own and mind our own business. Let’s discuss.

Making Fitness Fun

It’s easier to be fit when we enjoy the exercise (see my page on Working Out for more). Our time is limited, so it’s silly to waste it doing exercises we hate when there are more enjoyable options available.

Making fitness fun is a great way to help others build a base interest in fitness because it’s more engaging and less stressful than traditional fitness. People are more likely to do and take seriously things they enjoy. This includes fitness.

Additionally, they may have negative associations with traditional fitness that keep them away from the gym, making fun alternatives a great way to get back on track with working out. Whether we go on walks together, hit the gym, or play pickleball, we can find fun activities that get us moving and help us see the benefit in learning.

Fun Fitness Makes Progress Easier

I find fun fitness activities are a great entry point to fitness, and I think more careful thought into making higher-level fitness fun is key to keeping people progressing. We often see people plateau in their fitness journeys because they feel like they’ve maxed out their progress in the fun activity, but fear the jump from fun activity to traditional fitness.

For example, we may have started lunchtime walks with coworkers as a good break from work and a way to keep active. This helps us burn calories and improve our walking, moving us toward a healthier life. However, we do not feel excited or prepared to start a gym routine.

Careful thought into our fitness needs and interests can make it easier to build a smoother path to our fitness goals. If we like a walking club because of the community engagement and low-stress activity, we may enjoy an adult-league sports club (which can range anywhere from soccer to kickball, or even cornhole!). We might also enjoy online fitness groups where we can discuss routines, complete programs with others remotely, or just vent about how the progress is going.

We are most successful in helping others build their fitness if we take time to figure out how to make it fun for them. This way, they can take on the new endeavor in a way that keeps them engaged and happy. After all, it’s easier to keep doing something if it’s something we enjoy.

Making fitness fun can help people build interest, but we have to be mindful not to be irritating about it.

Avoid Bothering People About Fitness

More popular than the advice to make fitness fun was to leave people to figure out fitness for themselves. Many users rationalized this by saying that people need to find their own motivation and attempts to help may push them away. A cliche followed:

You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink.

I agree with that largely. Have you ever been next to a horse? Those guys are huge!

However, in terms of fitness, I believe that this phrase is lacking.

By describing helping someone build an interest in fitness as trying to force a horse to drink water, we are avoiding all discussion of why the person might be avoiding fitness. Did they have a bad experience with fitness? Do they struggle with understanding how to build themselves, or how to gradually ramp-up their exercise? Is there some sort of false belief or association in their mind?

If we take time to understand why the horse isn’t drinking water, we are more equipped to help it take that first sip.

For example, if a horse thinks the water is poisoned and we know it’s not, we can convey as much and help the horse drink (assuming the horse has a working knowledge of the English language).

Avoiding helping people by blaming issues on their own motivation is a selfish way to avoid critically thinking about the challenges presented and how we can be of assistance. Imposing beliefs on someone is not a productive way to help them develop positive behaviors. At the same time, I believe that we are people who can influence others, and we can create with these tools.

So why is it generally that people are avoiding fitness?

Barriers to Fitness

Gyms are everywhere, run clubs are prolific, people exercise outside, and good fitness information is everywhere online.

Why is it that we aren’t all fit?

Often the biggest barriers to physical fitness are mental. Access to gym equipment and workout information is important, but these factors alone do not reflect the modern barriers to sustainable fitness. Scaring away newcomers and promoting unsustainable fitness routines are two of the biggest barriers I come across when trying to get newcomers into fitness.

Scaring Away Newcomers

The fitness world can be a jungle. Human behemoths challenge expert practitioners, shaming and critiquing any routines that don’t align with their own. People passionately advocate for their routines and slam anything different, even if their routines are unsafe or unsustainable for most people. It’s no wonder fitness newbies can find the gym to be a scary place.

Modern fitness revolves around emotional knowledge. We must question what impedes people from feeling comfortable learning about healthy and sustainable fitness practices if we want more to learn to care for themselves.

I find that many people who avoid exercise do so because they don’t feel like they belong in the gym. They don’t feel like they fit enough and are off-put by caustic preaching about differing methods or techniques.

Minority voices trumpeting regressive constructs like hegemonic masculinity (where a man is expected to be the biggest and most powerful person to be valuable) scare off the initiated and frustrate those who see fitness as personal care rather than the recipes for bigger. These loud and hostile gatekeepers create fear and opposition to accessible fitness, often in search of self-assurance and confidence themselves.

When we feel the judging eyes of others, we tend to either normalize our behaviors in relation to theirs or avoid being noticed altogether. We reduce access to fitness when we present it in ways that make people fear they aren’t enough.

A scary gym mentality prevents people from starting. Even if they are able to start, they are often knocked off the fitness path due to unsustainable fitness practices.

Unsustainable Fitness Practices

We often see the fitness world as a constant challenge to lift more. Bigger numbers, more explosive repetitions, and crazier routines flood fitness media, convincing people that the key to fitness is prioritizing doing more.

Beyond doing more, we’re expected to do it and improve faster. This comes in the form of extreme trends like 75 Hard that push people into intense fitness (and lifestyle in general) changes for a set period of time.

These intense practices do work for some, but they present issues for many others. It is grueling to go from not exercising to an intense regimen, pushing people to leave fitness with a negative impression almost as quickly as they started. Similarly, I see a lot of people who feel themselves trapped in big lifting mentalities that prioritize numbers over body mechanics and long-term health.

We regularly see lifters injure themselves trying to mimic social trends and push lifts, learning the importance of basic movement only after they’ve injured themselves during exercise. This is the unfortunate reality of lifting to prove to others that you are worthy rather than lifting to understand your body.

When we build negative associations, we become less likely to pursue it. These experiences makes people fear that they don’t belong, making it so they don’t study fitness at all.

It is our responsibility to help ourselves and others learn to develop sustainably.

We Possess the Power of Influence

We have the ability to change other peoples’ decision-making processes and rationale by providing knowledge in a palatable manner. If we do so discreetly and non-oppressively, we can influence diverse groups of people and increase accessibility to fitness. With luck, doing so will further improve access to fitness, as the diverse groups who learned from us can spread awareness through their own unique teaching styles and circles of influence.

Helping people who aren’t into fitness learn to exercise requires us to influence and persuade. We have to meet people at their current levels and speak to them in a way that addresses their concerns. Instead of telling people to just lift or constantly yapping about all the benefits, we have to consider how people might react when they hear what we say.

There are a lot of potential issues that can arise from us trying to help. Most obviously, our attempts to help people get into fitness may make them feel self-conscious or annoyed, creating barriers to exercise.

With some strategy, trial and error, and a willingness to help but not control, we can help people change their minds. Helping someone is more than imposing your beliefs on them, and if we truly wish to have an influence, we must cater our strategies to the issues at hand.

How to Help Someone Get Into Fitness

Fitness is key to developing a healthy and sustainable lifestyle. However, for the reasons discussed above, many people fall into and out of fitness or avoid it altogether. If you want to try and get someone into fitness, here are a few tips to help them adopt sustainable fitness routines.

Learn What the Person Enjoys

Before you can convince someone to make a lifestyle change, it’s important to consider what they enjoy. Do they have any activities they look forward to? Do they spend much time with friends, family, or in the outdoors?

While these details might not always relate directly to fitness, they offer an entryway into the world of fitness that you can use to get them moving!

Do Things Together

We often struggle to find motivation to do things when they have to be done alone. There is so much we can do, and it can be easy to find an excuse or something else to fill up our day.

If we want to help someone get into fitness, it can be helpful to schedule an activity to do together. This can be anything from a weekly game of paddleball to a regular walking loop.

So long as the activity is somewhat sustainable, it can help form a routine, build in regular activity, and help people feel comfortable with movement they might otherwise avoid. It’s also a great chance to bond and commiserate, which we can all use from time to time.

Consider Their Fitness Levels

No matter how fun the fitness activity may seem, it isn’t enjoyable if you are not in good enough shape to do it.

Our general fitness levels dictate the activities we can do, their intensity, and the duration we’ll be able to do them. The level of fitness needed may be slightly lower if you have past experience or skills in the activity, but beware! Coming from a person who tried to get back into wrestling after a several-year gap, your body can run into trouble when it tries to go right back to where your mind remembers leaving off.

Try and mix in light activities to start so that you can both see how you feel and what works. If you remember your friend was a big basketball player back in the day, start with a game of horse before going 1v1 (especially if you know you’re in better shape) so that you can avoid frustration and increased risk of injury.

Provide Positive Feedback

It can be toughest to recognize the positive changes we’ve made in ourselves. We see ourselves everyday, and it can be tough to acknowledge trends, weight loss, or better overall health.

If you notice that someone has been making positive growth, let them know! So often, we are caught up in our own goals that we do not take a moment to acknowledge how those around us have improved. We notice when they struggle, and it is only fair that we also notice when they shine.

When we take a moment to provide positive feedback (especially when we know someone has been working hard toward this end), we make it easier for them to succeed. By providing positive feedback, we are letting a person know that they are having success, it’s noticeable, and that they should be proud of what they are accomplishing.

Positive feedback can help people take a moment to reflect on what they are doing and enforce the constructive changes they’ve made in their lives. If done properly, positive feedback can also result in a positive feedback chain, where the recipient does a better job helping those around them notice their growth and work toward their goals.

Two warnings: don’t be a phony and don’t be irritating.

Don’t Be a Phony

Sometimes, we may want someone to continue with a trend or feel better about themselves. If we have noticed a positive change and want to highlight it as a reason to continue, great!

However, making up positives in hopes that they will perpetuate growth only builds distrust and disappointment.

While we aren’t always quick to give ourselves credit, we do tend to notice the details about our lives. For example, we might not recognize aesthetic changes in the mirror, but we are more likely to know our weight than our friends and family.

When we give compliments or feedback we don’t actually notice, the recipients may feel flattered, but they will more likely sense that you are being disingenuous and be hard on themselves. If the compliment is untrue, the recipient will know that not only it’s untrue, but that someone is trying to convince them it is true so that they continue doing what the compliment giver has highlighted. This builds negative associations and distrust between the complimenter and recipient.

Give real compliments if you want them to mean something.

Don’t Be Irritating

The best intentions cannot make an annoying comment more helpful. If we want people to listen to our advice and continue on a path toward fitness, we have to communicate in a way that they receive well.

Everyone’s different, and we all have things we enjoy and that annoy us. If we want to give someone advice, especially about a sensitive topic, we have to take time to understand how they communicate.

By taking time to understand how someone communicates, we can tailor our comments to place them in ways they are most likely to be received and acknowledged.

The last thing we want is for someone to nag to us. No matter how good the advice, it will never be respected.

Conclusion

Fitness is important, as the ability to move dictates how we navigate everyday life.

Regardless of how important fitness is, there will always be people who aren’t interested in pursuing it.

We, as people who can walk, talk and gesture, have the ability to influence others. With this in mind, it is all too common to see people promote fitness and torture others about what it means to exercise and be healthy.

In order to most effectively help people get into fitness, we have to take time to understand what motivates them. It’s important we consider people for who they are and what they value before we start telling them about the merits of exercise.

We also have to recognize that the fitness world is an expansive universe and that people may have past negative experiences with fitness that make it hard for them to get into exercise.

If we want to help people get into fitness, we can serve as resources. We can do activities with others, learn what they like and provide suggestions, and compliment their wins as they come. As with most things, it’s in our best interest to look toward the positive and avoid being annoying. Things are more fun when we aren’t irritating about them.

Comments? Suggestions? Let me know!

-G

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